Debt Relief Programs

Real Debt Relief Programs - MY Debt Relief Programs - Are The Answer To Your Cries For Help!

Get swept up in the moment with debt relief programs

So I was sweeping the hallway the other day, picking up scraps of paper and other crap that the damn kids threw on the floor like they were raised in a freaking barn, when it occurred to me that cleaning up other people's mess is what debt relief programs do best. No wonder I am a part time debt and credit counseling consultant here at the school. Just because I am the janitor, or as I like to call it, Custodial Services Manager, here, doesn't mean that I don't know my finances.

You don't even understand what my knowledge of debt relief programs can mean for you, and all because you JUDGE me. Ever see Good Will Hunting? The brightest guy at M.I.T. was the freaking guy cleaning the floors. The floors!! Well, I am the Will Hunting of Debt Consolidation High School. And I'm here to talk about debt relief programs. Step into my office (that being the closet) and pull up a chair. Or, given the utter lack of chairs, a bucket. Wait, no, not that one. Haven't cleaned the puke outta that one yet.

A sampling of the things debt relief programs bring to people's lives

First off, people, if you haven't already figured this out, debt relief programs can consolidate your bills into just one per month. So all of you girls in particular who think that three, four or 12 credit cards are needed to do all the shopping you need to? Get with the program. Get some debt relief before it's too late and you are up to your eyeballs in interest. And you guys. You pathetic dudes who think missing a payment or two makes you "cool." You disgust me more than the boys' locker room does.

• Don't you realize that the average APR of a credit card is 18.3!!!!???!!!!???
• That means $183 for every $1,000 in debt, over the course of the year, that you gotta pay extra.
• Why is this so hard for you to understand? Don't think that any debt relief company won't tell you the same thing (only they will charge you big bucks for a service that I, and other non-profit sources of assistance, provide for free)!
• I mean, a debt relief program can save you at least 33 percent of your balances, just because creditors don't want to wait around for their money anymore. You have so much more leverage than you think! Come on, kids!

If you wanna know more about debt relief programs, and how they can change your life for the better, you know where I will be. Mopping, sweeping, buffing. Occasionally outside on smoke breaks. Sometimes eating lunch. Or just kickin' it in the closet.

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